If I Were The Mayor
Now, don't take this as a cheesy elementary school essay. I'm serious! I could be mayor of Bradford. I mean, I'm not even at all sure that I want to live in Bradford when I'm done school but if I did here are some of my ideas.
#1 Limiting of big box stores. I'd make sure that it would be difficult for large companies to move into Bradford. And if they really really want into Bradford they're going to have to have stores that 'fit into the natural landscape'. ie. Not big ugly stores with giant parking lots. As well, they would need to be public transit and walking friendly.
#2 plant more trees
#3 maintaining Bradford small town appeal (yah I know, what appeal is there to a small town... But apparently there is).
#4 All new developments would have to a) not have a large garage on the front b) be more conducive to walking and public transit c) have lots of greenspace d) and trees e)also they would need to be unique in some way. ie. Not cookie cutter cheesy suburb houses. Bradford needs to have a unique feel. Maybe we could hire a Dutch architect or something.
#5 A community compost system
#6 No garbage
#7 mandatory carrot consumption
#8 No sleeping through council meetings OR eating candies loudly into the microphone ( I'm talking to you Frank Jonkman)
#9 a public transit plan
#10 more giant billboards with Gwilly waving, just so everyone feels welcome (and/or very confused)
#11 negotiating with the Canadian government to get CSIS headquarters to Bradford
#12 lobbying for recognition of the 'townie' as a distinct ethnic group
#13 more trees
#14 a percentage of drug profits made by teens in lions' park and the tim hortons' parking lots to go to the unwed mothers of Bradford
#15 getting rid of that porn store on main St.
#16 putting in an ikea
#17 more fire trucks
#18 more Go trains
#19 fewer people with low IQs
#20 flowers
#21 mandatory branding with a A hot 'Gwilly' Iron for all citizens of Bradford thus making Bradford citizenship as lucrative as Roman citizenship.
Okay, so maybe only a couple of those ideas were serious but in all honesty, its time for Frank Jonkman to retire. So lets keep Bradford from becoming just another Ajax and lets keep it special. And what's more special than your very own gwilly brand?
#1 Limiting of big box stores. I'd make sure that it would be difficult for large companies to move into Bradford. And if they really really want into Bradford they're going to have to have stores that 'fit into the natural landscape'. ie. Not big ugly stores with giant parking lots. As well, they would need to be public transit and walking friendly.
#2 plant more trees
#3 maintaining Bradford small town appeal (yah I know, what appeal is there to a small town... But apparently there is).
#4 All new developments would have to a) not have a large garage on the front b) be more conducive to walking and public transit c) have lots of greenspace d) and trees e)also they would need to be unique in some way. ie. Not cookie cutter cheesy suburb houses. Bradford needs to have a unique feel. Maybe we could hire a Dutch architect or something.
#5 A community compost system
#6 No garbage
#7 mandatory carrot consumption
#8 No sleeping through council meetings OR eating candies loudly into the microphone ( I'm talking to you Frank Jonkman)
#9 a public transit plan
#10 more giant billboards with Gwilly waving, just so everyone feels welcome (and/or very confused)
#11 negotiating with the Canadian government to get CSIS headquarters to Bradford
#12 lobbying for recognition of the 'townie' as a distinct ethnic group
#13 more trees
#14 a percentage of drug profits made by teens in lions' park and the tim hortons' parking lots to go to the unwed mothers of Bradford
#15 getting rid of that porn store on main St.
#16 putting in an ikea
#17 more fire trucks
#18 more Go trains
#19 fewer people with low IQs
#20 flowers
#21 mandatory branding with a A hot 'Gwilly' Iron for all citizens of Bradford thus making Bradford citizenship as lucrative as Roman citizenship.
Okay, so maybe only a couple of those ideas were serious but in all honesty, its time for Frank Jonkman to retire. So lets keep Bradford from becoming just another Ajax and lets keep it special. And what's more special than your very own gwilly brand?
ps. is this the sort of thing i'm supposed to write in a blog?
posted by Robyn at
Friday, February 04, 2005
5 Comments:
HEY! What's wrong with Ajax? I'm sure I've complained about it an infinite number of times, but it does have some appeal... and there are not a million Ajaxes out there! If I were you, I would say Pickering, not Ajax. Pickering is full of big dumb stuff, and definitely lacks appeal. Ajax, on the other hand, has lots of appeal. And Tim Hortonses. Sorry man, but I have to defend my home municipality! Our mayor is pretty wicked, though, so I have no hope of getting his job. In any case... Here's to Ajax! It's just as cool as Bradford, if not cooler! -- Sarah
My apologies to the residents of Ajax who I offended. I chose Ajax as my example of a suburb simply because it is the one I am most familiar with having spent significant time there in the past. I do recognize that Ajax has several redeeming qualities including a lovely waterfront, comfortable library, easy GO access and of course a few angsty teens that provide excellent flavour.
:) Thank ye. -- Sarah
Funny number 16 contradicts number 1. Ahh that is Canadian politics for ya
Hey Robyn, was crusing blogs of people I know, couldnt help commenting. A few thoughts.
1) To take away candy and sleeping from Frank takes away his very reason for living, if you want to improve council meetings make Gary Lamb wear socks and not be drunk all the time.
2)I think in taking down the porn store you may as well raze all of downtown from about the old shoppers plaza down past McDonalds and replace it with alot of sleaze free kitchy little buildings a la Cookstown.
3) Hiring a dutch architect is just crazy! have you seen some of the stuff in Amsterdam? I mean you complain about one little porn store..oh my the things a dutchman could do.
None the less all other points are wll founded, and its always good to read about bradford. Zach
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home