Where Did Deuy Decimal go?

So I’m researching a paper involving the Charlottetown Accord and I’ve got to say…its way more complicated than its supposed to be. By it, I don’t mean the topic. By it, I mean researching! Here’s what happens.
Step 1. First one must check the library online catalogues. This can be done in the comfort of your own home. You must navigate a series of searches trying to use the appropriate words to get what you want and you end up with a code. Something like JL 65 .1992 D64 1992 c.3 (seriously that’s a call number for a book on my desk).
Step 2. Go the library.
Step 3. examine the chart on the wall to see where the J section is. Its on floor 3.
Step 4. go to floor three…look for Js. …
Step 5. if you still can’t find the J’s in 10 mins. Take a break and try not to scream. Its possible you’re actually in the bound journal section (which is on floor 2 but you may have gotten confused and gone to the wrong floor)
Step 6. continue to search for Js
Step 7 once Js are located begin decoding process. If there was any reason for learning your alphabet or how to count, this is it. first follow the alphabet ja, jb, jc, jd….until you get to JK…then start on the next number, then the next number, then back to the letter, then the number again, then the date, then the letter and yes, the last number (I’m not kidding this is real).
Step 8. discover your book is not there
Step 9. try not to scream.

An alternative to this is when I forget the deal with the CA section. You see, I go through the whole routine up to the point where I’m on my hands and knees crawling through the library counting out loud or reciting the alphabet.. then I come to it, it looks like a book, in fact its supposed to look like a book, it isn’t though…it’s a cardboard book with a spine that says CA (Canadian documents) are located in the basement). ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!?! Its like some sort of sick treasure hunt. So I have to go all the way down and go through the government documents. WHICH IS HELL b/c they’re all so thin that the spines don’t show and I’m guaranteed to be standing on my tip toes on a step stool or again crawling on the floor.

What happened to good old deuy decimal? (and is deuy (as in heuy, deuy and lewis) named after him) I remember spending hours in elementary school learning how to find books and then suddenly, university and the stupid American congress system. I don’t understand for the life of why/how its organized the way it is. Its barely linear and extremely confusing.
In deuy decimal, if you’re in a section that has say, the Meech lake accord in it, you’re likely to find the Charlottetown accord there too. But no, in American congress, its all the Canadian constitutional stuff EXCEPT the Charlottetown accord. On one end of this section is the American constitution section and the other end is something like Caribbean foreign policy. I still can’t find the Charlottetown accord section.

Another exciting alternative is Microfilm or Micorfiche and yes there is a difference. I gave up when I couldn’t open the filing cabinet drawer tonight. Clearly, the library gods area against me. in an hour of searching, I got 2 books.
Oh and for the record can I just say that people should title their books with relevant titles…like if your book is about the Charlottetown accord, perhaps put that in the title…or alternatively, if its NOT about the Charlottetown accord DO NOT put it in the title. While I’m sure that the children’s book in the educational library with that in its title is a riveting read, I find it extremely annoying to come across a book that is not about what I think its about b/c the title deceiving.

So…needless to say I’m not having much luck in the library these days. I’m actually having more success in the online journal department. I’m horrid at looking though journals but at least it isn’t as humiliating as crawling by someone three times reciting the alphabet to myself.