Some Introspection

They (who ever ‘they’ is) say that the habits you develop in your early 20s are the habits you keep for the rest of your life. They say that this is the time in your life when you really decide who you want to be. But I wonder how much I’m choosing who I want to be and how much of it is just a result of the evolution that is growing up.
I suppose to some degree I’m scared of being the same for the rest of my life. It worries me. I mean, I don’t eat healthy enough, I don’t run enough, I don’t do enough of a lot of things, and too much of others. Should I be more intentional with how I spend my time? Should I be intentionally developing habits that will lead to a well balanced life? Do I have enough discipline to do that? I don’t know.
I don’t want to change when I’m older though, well, I do…but not a whole lot. I’d like to grow in wisdom and patience. I want to age gracefully and stay current with the times (not in the 60 year old lady dressing like she’s 20 sort of way, but in the grandmas who know what the internet is sort of way). But I don’t want my husband to wake up one morning and realize that I’ve changed into a completely different person, a person who he wouldn’t have married.
So how do you change, and not change. How do you find the balance? How do you know if you get there? Do you ever get there? Are you supposed to? Is it more about the journey than the destination? I don’t’ think so. I think its all about the destination, I just think that you have to appreciate the various parts of the trip and try to work as far towards perfection as you can along the way. Sometimes I’m just not sure how to do that.
So should I get up earlier? Yes. Should I go to the gym more? Yes. Should I stop eating donuts? Yes.
I just don’t’ know if I want to and I’m not sure if that’s a bad thing.