How to care for a housemate during Midterms

Step #1 identify crisis.
If there are audible sobs coming from the room make a note of a ‘crisis’

Step #2 intervene
With tissues, warm drink, or mounds chocolate knock softly on the door and wait for an indication to enter to be sobbed.

Step #3 Enter
Upon receiving permission to enter. Open door and proceed in. If light is off, do not attempt to turn it on as it may cause blindness to your housemate. Also, try not to step on the papers on the floor. For while they may appear in disarray, they are actually hours of effort thrown down in frustration.

Step #4 approach
Walk up to your housemate and sit beside her on the bed. Present her with your gift(s). Place on hand on her shoulder and read the following speech.

Hello________,
How are you? I just dropped by to tell you that I think that you are wonderful and a great person. I know you are frustrated with school these days but I wanted to remind you that you are more than your marks. ________, you are a complete person without academics, you are more than a number, you are beautiful, capable and will be successful even if you fail this paper, not to say that you will, because you won’t, but even if you did, there is no guarantee that you will live in the gutter the rest of your life. In fact, even if you fail you may be successful. While one bad mark may mean that you don’t get into grad school that doesn’t mean you won’t be a great housewife or Tim Hortons server. _______, your life is more than school. Sure, you haven’t been out of the house in three weeks and I can’t remember the last time you washed your hair, but I’m sure that this paper is not worth being curled up in the fetal position sobbing. You can do it. Yes, yes you can. You are a smart, intelligent human being. I love and care for you.
Thank you.

Step #5 Listen
You may not be able to understand what they’re saying. Something about a paper or a midterm. Something full of sobs. Just nod and say, you can do it, I’m sure you can. If necessary repeat speech or portions of.

Step #6 Leave
After housemate’s sobs have decreased or she has passed out from not having slept in days, slowly back out of the rooms

Step #7 Get back to work
Then, return to your work, if necessary repeat speech to self, in head or out loud. Feel free to add arm motions. Perhaps do some stress eating as well.