The Paper Lottery

I handed in another paper today and somehow as I plopped it down on the Prof’s desk, I felt like it was all out of my hands. Which I suppose is true, to a degree. Once you hand in the paper, technically you’re not supposed to worry about it anymore because you’ve done all you can do. Unfortunately, the more papers I hand in and get back, the more I find myself feeling as though handing in a paper is more like entering some sort of bazaar lottery. You do what you can, yes, and generally you know that you haven’t failed it. but its pretty difficult to predict your mark inside of 10%. I suppose that’s the nature of arts papers, its all so subjective but somehow I feel that its all out of my control and that really, its almost luck. Is the prof in a good mood when they mark it? have they just marked a fantastic, publishable paper directly before mine? Is the prof experienced at marking? Who knows… all I see is the number on the piece of paper at the end of it all. Its rather scary I think to put your academic future in the hands of someone whose biases and marking tendencies you don’t really know. But there is no other choice I suppose. And so I enter the lottery again and again. And, like most games find myself winning some and losing some.