The "vacation" begins

It’s a amazing where driving for 24 hours will get you. We left Bradford at 2:15 on Friday afternoon and arrived around 2:45 here at my grandparent’s house in Florida. It was a good drive, better than some we’ve done…mind you, I haven’t done this since grade 11, but the time this journey seemed to go by a lot faster than it has in the past. I think that has a lot to do with me doing more traveling for work and getting to school etc. Anyway, I got to do a lot of the driving myself this time. I drove for about 6 hours. From London to Windsor, most of Kentucky and from just about Ocala down past Tampa. I managed to get about 4 hours of sleep but when we got here I crashed and slept for a bit. Then it was a Christmas eve service at the first Presbyterian church and then back here for bed. I must say that my ideal vacation generally doesn’t include 2 weeks in a house with my parents and grandparents …but I think this time will be better than most. My last few times down I was in the middle teen angst and my parents pretty much vowed not to bring me down again until I’d grown out of it. When I walked in the door last night I had a sudden sense of dread. Nana started fussing like mad and I was suddenly quite aware of the fact that there is only one common living space. I don’t want to appear angsty so I can’t go into my room and close my door too much but sitting in the main room either means Nana fussing or the TV or both. So I’m outside by the pool on nana’s laptop with a nice humid breeze whisking by. Keith is coming down on Tuesday so he’ll be good company and we’ll be able to get out of the house. Until then though, its me, my parents, my grandparents and my uncle gary in rather close quarters. At least its warm right? I think I’ll have a good time this Christmas, I’m actually glad I’m here. Two weeks really isn’t that long and well…its free. So, I’m going to go watch the ‘very merry Christmas parade’ and then go be social. I’ll probably be blogging most days so keep checking back to see if I lose my mind!

A Day of Refreshing

I woke up this morning feeling like something was off. I felt as if I’d woken in a place that felt different. I don’t know why but I sort of had the feeling that something was going to be different about today. Today was a great day. I got up, got ready for church, and said good morning to my housemates. I checked my e-mail and had just received an e-mail from a prof friend of mine from church inviting me to dinner. I replied saying yes and headed out to church. In church I was feeling drained emotionally and spiritually. Exams tend to wear on me. even though I don’t have a lot this term the whole atmosphere of being in an academically intense environment with no way out makes my head spin after a while. So God had a plan. Today was to be my day of refreshing and of being filled. After church Val (my minster/priest) invited me over for lunch and playing in the snow with herself and her lovely five year old triplets. I accepted after momentarily hesitating to think of my studying. I’m so glad I went. I enjoyed a lovely lunch of soup and then out into a beautiful crisp day to build snow forts and slide down hills. I had so much fun. I love romping around in the snow but on my own it feels so silly but with a five year old with you… its just so much better….so three…well…that’s just even more fun. So I got home around 5 and then at 6:30 I headed over to they Lyon’s for dinner. I really love the Lyons. They are highly intelligent, generous, warm and caring. After a great dinner we sat in front of the fire and drank tea. It was a fantastic way to spend a day. I think that connecting to families is probably one of the most beneficial things I’ve done while at school this year. I love talking to adults, I love being in real homes, I love playing with kids. Its so refreshing to lie in the snow or sip tea by a fire. Today I planned on studying…I got none done. I’m okay with that though, I still have 2 and a half more days until my next exam and now that I’m feeling refreshed I know that I can study more vigorously feeling more alive in my work. Today when I woke up things felt different, I knew something was up…it was like God was saying, “today will be an adventure” it was, and for that I am thankful. I am refreshed and full of joy. And in the middle of exams, that’s a pretty rare thing.

Santa and Economics

Gather close children, I have a story to tell. Its about Santa Claus and the high tech revolution. You see many years ago, before you were born, Santa’s elves made all of the toys. They sat around in work shops and worked for fair pay. They had a union and enjoyed benefits and adequate breaks. But then, Santa discovered outsourcing. Now, for those of you who don’t know what that means, it means that Santa discovered that he could get cheaper labour from hiring part time labour somewhere where the living expensive are lower and minimum wage doesn’t exist. For, as you know, the living cost is very expensive in the North Pole because everything has to be imported (well, except for ice). Anyway, Santa discovered that he could have inexpensive labour in Mexico and the Philippines make the products a lot cheaper. So, he phased out the elves, for the most part anyway. He kept them around to handle his finances and the his personal affairs instead of being creative and making individualized toys. The Elves were forced to work for very low wages if they could even get a job at all, because, as you know, its very difficult for elves to get immigration status in most Western countries. Now, out sourcing was going well for dear old saint nick ..but he discovered an even more inexpensive way of getting toys. You see, as technology increased, children were demanding brand name items. Increased advertising by transnational corporations had santa’s brand not flying with the kiddies. I mean who really wants a Lame boy or a Lettuce patch kid doll? Not me, I’ll tell you that. Anyway, Santa discovered something else new…internet shopping. He found out that he could order in directly from companies like apple and sony and gap without even having to leave his home. So Santa embraced the corporate world. The elves are now in charge of internet orders, shipping and receiving and yes, Santa now sports a new Nike pair of shoes and a red Gap jacket. You see, once you sell out to the corporate world…there are perks. So next time you hear reindeer on the roof, remember that they are sponsored by walmart and that that sleigh was bought on ebay. Remember that Santa only drinks coca cola and that his thermos is filled with starbucks…so don’t leave him any milk and cookies. In short my friends, remember that at some point its easier to sell out. At some point it just becomes more affordable, and makes better economic sense. So when you unwrap your lululemon bag, your uggs and wonder why you look exactly why everyone else at school…remember …it just makes better economic sense. And besides, you wouldn’t want to be different...at least that's the message Santa is getting.

Snow

The nice thing about snow storms is that when you live in the city, close to your school, they’re nothing but pretty. Sure, they’re cold and you have to shovel the walk, but generally speaking, there is no better time to appreciate it than here and now. When I’m at my parent’s place, we live on a somewhat poorly maintained dirt road in a valley. Needless to say, when there is a snow storm, we often get snowed in. My parents tend to plan their lives around the weather and often as a teenager I was forced to cancel my plans because of road conditions. Here, at school, since I walk everywhere, it really doesn’t make a difference. I just stick on my boots, wrap my scarf around my head a few times and trudge out into the blustery barrage of swirling snowflakes. I mean, sure you need to watch out for the cars as they slide up to the stop signs but there really isn’t a down side for me with snow storms these days. If they take out the power that would be bad but I think that in general, I really like a good snow storm. At home I used to feel really trapped when we got snowed in. I liked snow days but when I was a teenager being trapped in my house with my parents and no way out was a little too much. But these days I’m not going anywhere. If anything it makes studying more pleasant. I can hunker down in the library watching the snowflakes kiss the window pains and fly memorizingly by the street lights. So hurray for the snow storm and hurray for the 30 cm we’re expecting tonight. I can’t wait.

Queens Girls

What is a Queens girl? No, its not just a girl who goes to Queens, it’s a specific…brand. A Queens girl wears Uggs and a mini skirt to the library with a hoodie with perfect hair and perfect makeup. She may also choose to wear Uggs, sweatpants, a tight fitted shirt with perfect hair and makeup. She doesn’t wear a backpack…she carries a Lululemon bag. She comes to the library to study and meet up with her friends where they whisper yell about the injustices in the world while they sip their starbucks. A Queens girl must have at least one women’s studies course and a development studies course on her timetable to ensure that she has a forum to express how oppressed she is and the injustices of the world (as Queens girls are all about justice). She must want to be a lawyer. She must only wear designer. She may appear to be a shallow fluffy bimbo…but here’s the kicker…chances are, she write a darn good paper (probably about oppression and social justice but very succinct and cohesive). You can mock her, roll your eyes at her, mumble about how girls like her in high school got pregnant and dropped out after grade ten. The problem is that while you resent these models of frivolity and hypocrisy, they’re not like any of the other people you’ve ever encountered. These girls are going somewhere. Granted, they’re going in Prada and Guichi , but they’re going. They’re going to fend off oppression and injustice so that all women, around the world, may drive beamers, sip starbucks with their perfect hair and their perfect makeup.

Ali goes to Bangladesh

Well, my sister has headed off to Europe for a month and then off to Bangladesh for six more. I went home this weekend for her send off (and Keith’s birthday). You can follow her travels at http://www.aliinbangladesh.blogspot.com/ which she hasn’t actually updated yet. She's spendig this week in England then she's flying to Latvia and taking a bus up to Lithuania to see her boyfriend Jared. Then the two of them are taking a bus/trian? to Austria. She's leaving Europe in January to go to Bangladesh. She's volunteering for a Christian NGO applying for government grants for them. Its all very exciting and makes my parents think that a month in Europe this summer is really not all that adventerous in comparison. Anyway, here are some pictures of me and Ali.

Hunger or Procrastination?

Sometimes, especially during exams, I find that I have a great amount of trouble reading the signals my body is sending me. for example, I’ll be studying and then my body will say… “Gee Robyn, its been a while since you showered” and think, “oh my, it has been about 8 hours…maybe I should shower!” And so I do. Similarly, I’ll be studying and my body will say “Robyn, you have to pee” and I think “oh wow, AGAIN?” and so I go and pee. My body also tells me that I’m hungry, tired, thirsty, anti social or that my room is a mess… I automatically answer these urges and soon find myself munching on a piece of toast or plucking my eyebrows. The problem is…I think my body is lying to me… I mean, its not that I don’t trust my body, b/c I do. Sometimes its right about having to pee or being tired…but this time of year, exam time…I think…hey, wait a minute..how come by body has suddenly become so demanding? Why this sudden urge to shower constantly? I mean, we were into clean before exams …but now, the room must be spotless, my dishes must always be done and yes, my hair must look fantastic. So I’m thinking that I should probably stop listening to my body…well, perhaps not entirely as that may result in some unfortunate pant wetting incidents…or extreme hygiene issues …I just think that its time I sat down, with a cup of tea and studied hard. I just wish my body wasn’t constantly trying to convince me otherwise. Perhaps I should inform it that if I do not pass my exams there will be no degree, no job, no money and thus no soap, no toilet paper and yes, no room to clean. So now, to work…but first, I need to go and use the bathroom.

Cleaning my lenses

A little rant...unedited...pretty raw...perhaps not logical....

I sometimes forget that I’m different, that I look at the world through a different lense than many people. As a Christian, I have a different understanding of the ‘meaning of life’ and what I should be striving for. Around here, in the realm of competitive academics, I find my lenses get a little fogged up. I somehow take on an ambitious persona, someone seeking personal goals of academic glory, success…prideful things. I have thoughts like ‘well, God didn’t give me this brain to sit around and pop out babies, I need to use it to my full ability.’ And yes, he did give me this mind to use it to the best of my ability but he gave it to me to use to His glory. And as such, I need to put aside my selfish little goals of wanting a career that fulfills my ideals (not say that God doesn’t want me to do what me to be happy…its just easy to be selfish). At some point I need to stop and think about what will be the best use of my brain for God. I get so entangled in my identity as an academic that I forget that it can so easily become an idol. It only takes a little twist of a good thing to make it very, very bad, to take an asset and make it a liability. But how do I use my brain to the best of my ability while keeping my focus on what really matters? How do I step back and realize that my ambition needs to be curbed? What is really important? I’m spending some time reflecting on this. What true happiness is made of. Its cliché to say ‘its not money or power or fame’…then why do we keep seeking it if we know its not what is going to make us happy. When I think of myself in 20 years, I know that at least two of those things tend to be part of my imagined scenario. And yes, money does provide a level of comfort and power does provide a level of influence but my happiness cannot depend on these things. There needs to be more. And the nice thing is that there is. Now in my imagined scenario, there’s a husband and a dog and a lovely kitchen with lots of counter space and a dishwasher…seriously though, I don’t want a job with overtime or scary deadlines. I don’t want to be constantly climbing the ladder or competing. I want to be content, not stagnant or stuck in a rut, but happy. I want to be curled up in the arms of a man I love as we read by the fire with a big fluffy dog. I want God to look at me and be proud. Around here I sometimes forget what I want. I start to look for my identity in my marks. I work on my papers and neglect my friendships. I start my days with essays and not prayer. I need to stop that. I need to get all that garbage off my lense and look at life fresh, understanding that I’m counter cultural around here. I see things differently.

Summer Plans

I’m SO excited. My friend Hilary and I just firmed up our summer plans by booking our plane tickets to Europe! We’re headed over for about a month and we’ve started a blog so that people can keep track of us before we go and hopefully even when we’re there. Feel free to check it out and give us your input during our planning process. I can’t guarantee that we’ll take your advice, but we’ll at least listen!
www.robynandhilaryineurope.blogspot.com