Today's thoughts (wow, thats a creative title)

So i'm in the library wasting time between classes and here is what i am thinking about today. its not very coherent but just the random thoughts spinning about in my noggin today.

Why does it bother me when people say "how can i help you miss" or worse "ma'me"? Is it politeness on their part or am i somehow feeling guilt for the supposed class differences that it implies? If someone 2x my senior calls me miss, why do i cringe? When i see someone in their 50s mopping the floor that i dirtied, why to i shudder? Do i fear that, that will be me? Do I feel bad because i'm 'going somewhere'? How am i supposed to react?
I suppose that being polite is one thing. but i feel condecending. I feel patronizing. I feel like they see through my thankyous and resent me. I feel like when i give a friendly smile they roll their eyes when i leave. I just can't think of how to do it well, how to not come across as a 'rich university kid' looking down on them.
but maybe they are content. maybe they have a passion for service. i don't know.
i just hope that i'm not coming across as condecending b/c i really don't see people in service as any less.

Some Introspection

They (who ever ‘they’ is) say that the habits you develop in your early 20s are the habits you keep for the rest of your life. They say that this is the time in your life when you really decide who you want to be. But I wonder how much I’m choosing who I want to be and how much of it is just a result of the evolution that is growing up.
I suppose to some degree I’m scared of being the same for the rest of my life. It worries me. I mean, I don’t eat healthy enough, I don’t run enough, I don’t do enough of a lot of things, and too much of others. Should I be more intentional with how I spend my time? Should I be intentionally developing habits that will lead to a well balanced life? Do I have enough discipline to do that? I don’t know.
I don’t want to change when I’m older though, well, I do…but not a whole lot. I’d like to grow in wisdom and patience. I want to age gracefully and stay current with the times (not in the 60 year old lady dressing like she’s 20 sort of way, but in the grandmas who know what the internet is sort of way). But I don’t want my husband to wake up one morning and realize that I’ve changed into a completely different person, a person who he wouldn’t have married.
So how do you change, and not change. How do you find the balance? How do you know if you get there? Do you ever get there? Are you supposed to? Is it more about the journey than the destination? I don’t’ think so. I think its all about the destination, I just think that you have to appreciate the various parts of the trip and try to work as far towards perfection as you can along the way. Sometimes I’m just not sure how to do that.
So should I get up earlier? Yes. Should I go to the gym more? Yes. Should I stop eating donuts? Yes.
I just don’t’ know if I want to and I’m not sure if that’s a bad thing.

A Little Self Pity

So I’ve been rather busy these days with an evil political theory paper (comparing Hobbes, Locke and Rousseau and their conceptions of liberty inside and outside of political society) ANYWAY, I haven’t had all that much time to post. But since I’ve been working on it for pretty much two days solidly and all week sporadically and I know I’m going to be up late with it so that tomorrow I can hopefully enjoy Easter Sunday, I thought I’d take a few mins to post something.
And in the spirit of my political theory paper, I think I’ll simply tell you ten things I’d rather be doing.
#10. sitting on a dock on a warm and windy summer’s evening with a glass of something alcoholic watching the sun set.
#9 sleeping
#8 playing with a puppy and/or a small child.
#7 a hot bath with bubbles, candles and a good book (not my roman study notes like the last bath I had, that kinda ruined it)
#6 a crazy dinning hall dance party with Melissa Graham and other camp folk (strobe lights? Yes please)
#5 sitting through a Bradford town council meeting, b/c then at least you have something to laugh at or be passionate about, like how Bradford is run by idiots
#4 watching paint dry or a kettle boil
#3 slamming my head against a wall, concrete preferred.
#2 shaving my boyfriend’s eyebrows while he sleeps. (Keith’s got enough hair, he won’t miss them)
#1 anything ANYTHING other than writing this STUPID paper. Honestly the only joy I get out of it is when I get stuck and I have to go to the class web page for help. Then at least I get to see what a nerd my prof is as I watch his voice-overed slide shows that explain the Lockian proviso. I mean really? Who has this sort of time on their hands? Man if this thing wasn’t worth 30% of my mark I’d be outside in the sunshine, running through the park, jumping in puddles…or at least I would have been able to come home for Easter.
*sigh*
Back to work

Thanks Trudeau People

Just and thank you to all the people that posted about Trudeau. I think I used everyone’s quotes or at least made reference to the opinions expressed. The conference went well despite my prof telling me [on Thursday] that he’d decided to extend the time I was talking from 3 mins to 15! I had a minor panic attack then I wrote my talk and it went just fine. So yah, the conference was as dull as anything but I had to go and food was free and plentiful.
Thanks again.
Word to your mothers.

 

 

Props to Nana

First off, thank you everyone who has been commenting on Trudeau for me! I really really appreciate it! I’m totally going to use all your comments. And for those of you haven’t commented yet, its not too late…you have until Friday! (if you’re confused see my last post).
Today, I would just like to give props to my nana who sent me a fantastic pair of socks that really made my day. As some of you who lived in res with me last year may know, I usually wear large wool socks instead of slippers. Unfortunately I wore large holes into them this year (probably from all the running and sliding I did in res). Anyway, at Christmas I told my Nana (my grandma on my mother’s side) how much I love the giant wool socks she knitted. Well, she told me she’d make me a pair and asked what colour I’d like. I told her she could use up all her scrap wool on them, the more fun the better. And so today they arrived all the way from Florida and brought a little bit of sunshine with them! I’m a firm believer that the socks you put on in the morning foreshadow the type of day you’re going to have so I try to have as many exciting socks on hand (or foot) as possible. So thanks nana, they’re great (not that she reads my blog). I’ll wear these socks until I get a giant hole in them. And to all my friends, if you want to make someone happy (esp. me), knit them a nice pair of colourful wool socks.
*NB* Keith Brooks is exempt from this because I really have no desire for him to learn to knit. Not that I’m against guys knitting, cause I’m not, I’m just against HIM knitting… especially for me… I think he should take up something like bear wrestling or mime. (sorry keith, didn’t mean to crush your dream)

Trudeau

Alright Kids, its time to give Robyn a little helping hand. You see, next weekend (the 19th) I have to go to a Canadian Studies conference here at Queens because i'm taking a Canadian studies course. Now this is all fine and good except for one little thing, my prof has asked me and 2 other people to make presentations. I NEED YOUR HELP. i'm supposed to 'survey my friends and family' and find out what they thought of Pierre Trudeau. So my friends, I EMPLORE YOU, help me out? just post a few of your thoughts on Trudeau and/ or his legacy. Even if you write that you think he is good and one reason...that would help me out TONES!
So thanks so much. And hopefully i'll survive this month of craziness.
Take care.

Quote of the Day

Today's quote comes from my Ancient Humour Prof- Dr. Griffith. The comment was made while discussing the consumption of milk by the cyclops in the Odyssey as a sign of his childlike state. He said "We've been brainwashed by people like Montesori and feminists to believe that we should get in touch with our inner child and all that other crap. The Greeks knew better.

They knew that...


BABIES ARE IDIOTS!"

Well stated.


(hopefully this isn't one of those things that you had to be there to get...i think its pretty universal.)

The Road to Heaven is Dirt- Some Thoughts on Home

I recently heard Dan Scott speak on the topic of heaven and home. He said that places feel like home because they reflect a little bit of our true home, heaven. I’ve been thinking a bit about this lately and I really think its true. There are 2 places I feel at home. The first is definitely where my parents live. I think it feels a bit like heaven because it is so peaceful. My parents live in harmony, its out in the country and comfortable. I can curl up by the fire and read, I can blast my music and most of all, I’m in a caring supportive environment. The other big place I feel at home at is Camp (Pioneer for those of you who don’t know). I’ve been going to camp by myself since I was 5 and its def. had a big impact on my faith. Since I’ve been on staff I’ve seen God do amazing things and he’s taught me a heck of a lot too. Camp is full of Christian community living. Now, this can be incredibly hard b/c , since I work at Girls camp, things can get caddy, and gossipy but it’s the times where things aren’t like that when I truely feel at home. Like I never want to leave. It’s the times when you live in harmony and love, speaking truth, working for God with each other that things just feel right. When I’m driving home to my parents house, and when I’m driving home to camp after having been away for a long time I can’t help but be excited. I drive down long dirt roads to get to both and as I bump along I anticipate the feeling of being home. I can only imagine what it’ll be like to bump down that big dirt road in the sky to the real thing. Real home.

Library Security

Well, i'm sitting here in the library having a break from my essay research (its been 2 hours, i deserve one) . I wanted to comment today briefly on the state of the library security guards, or INsecurity guards. i call them this for two reasons.
1. The make me feel nervous.You see they walk by you and they stare and they seem to think that their duty is to make sure that you don't leave a mitten unattended or smuggle a coffee into the library in an inappropriate cup.If they do find that you've left something they either leave you a little note...or they take it. Thats right folks, i've had friends who have had to go and get mittens back. they don't just hand them over though, they make you sign for them AND show your student card.
2. they should also be called insecurity guards because they don't really keep this place secure. i swear that some queens recruiter goes to the mall early in the AM sees who the best mall walker is and asks them if they want a job. They slap a uniform on 'em, tell them to look scary, and sit them down with a newspaper. They're all ancient and generally bored looking. It seems their only joy is the random laps of the library they do in search of illegal coffees and abandoned mittens. Frankly, ithink i could out walk these guys. they're pretty slow and ... they don't even carry guns. maybe i'll try and steal something today...what do you think? a computer? a book? how about something from the "its free" table wher ethey put all the broken electronics hoping that some sucker student will take it home. i bet if i took the moniter thats on that table and slipped it under my jacket they'd think i was stealing it and then we'd really see how much security this place has.
Maybe i'm being a little harsh onthese guys. i mean, i'm not for manditory retirement or anything... but when i passed one snoozing on the way out of douglas earlier today i just couldn't help but wonder who would win in a 50 m dash.
i wonder if they have to complete an annual physical?
Thats all for now,
sorry for the spelling and grammer issues, i don't have time to reread it today.

A New Analogy

So here is my new theory on relationships…or, I suppose, my new analogy.
Looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with is like shopping for books. You come into the store and browse. Occasionally a book might catch your eye and you might pick it up and glance at the cover. If that interests you, you might flip it over and read the back. [It’s like finding someone you’re interested in and then, getting to know them.] If you like the book you ‘pick it up’ and go around with it for a bit. You can’t read it yet but you can maybe read the first few pages or read the author’s bio. The thing is though, that since you’re only in there to buy one book, you might decide not to get that book, or you may see another that makes you think that perhaps the book you have in your hand isn’t the one for you. And so, you continue to shop. Some people like flashy picture books that are all glamour and no substance. Others prefer hard covered books of poetry from the dark rarely explored shelves at the back of the store. There are niche books, ones for people into street luge or botany. There are books that appeal to the general population that have a interesting stories but like harlequins or maxim magazines, not much depth. The thing about books is that once you read something, you can’t unread it. You can forget bits but you can’t undo what you’ve done. You have to be careful what you let yourself read b/c reading the wrong books can be bad for you [just like dating the wrong people]. Eventually you reach the point where you’re ready to buy the book. Sometimes you have to buy the book b/c you spill coffee on it or something but usually its b/c you want to keep the book and the book wants to keep you. In the book store of life, returns have become increasingly common. But when I buy a book, I’m gonna keep it. There is a book for pretty near everyone in the bookstore of life, it’s just a matter of finding it. Sometimes, (like in beautiful used bookstores that smell old and musty) the best books are the ones you have to dig around for back behind the stairs in a box. So my friends don’t give up and please, move on from the magazine rack.
A problem with my theory- one big one is that it appears to be very one sided and the book doesn’t have to choose you too….suck it up. It’s a good theory.